Archive for the ‘Gadgets’ Category

21st Century Transport. Sorted.

January 12, 2007

I stumbled upon a couple of rather interesting new modes of transport this week.

Jet Wings
The first (which I think is eminently practical) is Yves Rossy’s jet-engine wings:

The Jet Man!

C’mon, how cool would that be! This novel, yet potentially suicidal, invention lets you zip along through the air at a nice steady 187mph (300km/h). For those not up to speed (geddit?), that’s pretty bloody f-a-s-t!

Being a master of numbers, I’ve calculated that would cut my regular 30-minute commute down to just under 8 minutes. Way-hey! It seems Mr Rossy has only managed a 6-minute flight, though, so perhaps I’d have to factor in hitching a lift too. In a car that could accomodate some bulky (but nifty) jet-propelled wings. Probably more like 10 minutes, then. Still, a decent improvement in my commuting time, I’m sure you’d agree.

Imagine the unrestricted freedom of whooshing through the skies, screaming with abject terror, as four jet engines power you along! This is the kind of innovative solution the governments of the world should be wasting our tax money on, rather than building roads, etc.

Before you rush off to buy a set, I feel obliged to point out Mr Rossy hasn’t quite perfected his landing technique yet (presumably point it towards the ground…level out…run like hell…oh shit…*bang*). But that’s just a minor point. I’m sure you’ll be just fine. Honest.

Dolphin Boat
This second mode of transport could be a whole lot of fun – the aptly-named dolphin boat:

The Dolphin Boat!

Younger readers please take note – the dolphin in the picture has not struck a significant moral blow for the dolphin/tuna rights movement by eating a man. It is, in fact, a man driving a cunningly disguised boat.

Now I have to confess this particular invention isn’t quite as useful as the jet wings to me. Apart from the seemingly endless rainfall that regularly delights in soaking me, I’m about as far away from a large body of water in the UK as possible.

However the following video gives a rather nice demonstration of why I’d happily seek out a lake and spend my weekends pretending to be a dolphin:

Dolphin Video

No wonder dolphins always look happy (although they may become a tad agitated when their natural habitat is invaded by moronic loons driving dolphin boats, or when they try to shag a mechanical replica).

Count me in. It looks like good, wholesome, arsing around kind of fun (the driving about, not the dolphin-shagging).